The Renaissance Diet
Written by Diet Bites
Good Diet Morrow! Long ago & far away, Renaissance Faires were annual events held in celebration of the sunset of winter & the sunrise of the new spring – the rebirthing of the land, so to speak.
Winters of old tended to be harsh & depressing – sort of like a storm lacking a rainbow, or a rainbow lacking a pot o’ gold, or a pot o’ gold lacking a Leprechaun & so forth. (Me thinks ye gets the jest!)
Spring herald the glad tidings of the season & the good people of the village knew that soon, there would be many tasty things to harvest such as corn, berries & wheat.
There were fields of poppies too, but those were generally the harvests of ye ole Village Idiots.
In comparison to the festivities of ye ole Renaissance Faire, our Medieval Diet will herald thy rebirth! The Medieval Diet will fill thy head with merriment & thy very worthy body with weight loss success! How?
Thy can achieve weight loss success due to a healthier, leaner diet – a diet that is tasty & one that will leave thee with a full & satisfied belly. Thy will feel fatter, but look it not! Thy will feast on the most nutritious delicacies to be found, of course, in thine own kitchen.
Ye gracious Queen of the upper Kingdom will lay out fitness rules that will leave thy toes a-twinkling & thy legs ready to leap onto the floor of the wooded forest, running boldly towards ye ole fitness path!
Many diet slackers, as well as those wandering villagers who remain in shackles of Diet Idiom, wilt be trampled by thy twinkling toes as thy burneth a trail to enter these wise & friendly gates.
For behind these gates lies diet truth & not lies. Behind these gates, faire weight loss treasure is to be found, to be savored, to be enjoyed!
So, bring on the dancing village goats as we go forward, as also we dance - for in the misted distance, the frayed wooden posts that stand firmly marking The Old Diet Trail mesmerize before thee. We are here! Sweet diet rapture!
WEIGHT LOSS AHEAD - Whil’st thy dance in merry, let us pause outside this beckoning gate to take accruement of what lies ahead, as well as to be forthright about the containments of the Medieval Diet.
So take heed, Villager Dieter! Listen thee well to the following, some of which thy may’st wish to jot down in thy Diet Journal for safe thot-keeping:
The Medieval Diet may’st be used safely for as long as thine heart desires in conjunction with thy doctor-approved diet plan and is intended to teach thee how to properly feast, about what feast goodies need be avoided, & of how much feasting that thee can doth.
Doth dieting really work?
Here lies a before & after scribbling of what results thou may’st expect to achieve when thy embrace a healthy diet plan filled with great recipes such as those from the Medieval Diet.
Please note that the following be the Village Sketch-Artist’s most noble renderings designed for thy most great diet expectations.
The Beastly Difference - Before Renaissance Diet
King Phillip Anon Renaissance Diet
Ye Old Non-Standard Prelude
Results may’st vary from Village Dieter (VD) to Village Dieter (VD), but thy can expect a two-pound per week shedding of unwanted girth on most any healthy diet plan or weight loss program.
So dig out thy lute, thy flute & thy handmade skin drum & hop on the wooden cart being pulled by one strong-headed, stubborn-bodied donkey. The donkey’s name?
“Good Morrow! I am Will.”
Our donkey’s name ‘tis Thy Willpower – which guides us to Ye Non-Standard Prelude of The Medieval Diet.
Isn’t this fun! (By the way, Will loveth munching on carrots from the village garden. He once munched on a faire maiden’s golden locks of leeks there one day, not so long ago which made him reek with delight!)
As thy enter, please keep this thot in mind: The Medieval Diet is not to be used as a grammar tool or pattern. The writings contained therein be roughly written, hewn out by two faire, true hearts that care in earnest about thy weight loss success. The written words art for thy enjoyment, for thy motivation, for thy merriment!
On that note, thy art personally & cordially invited to enter into these crudely crafted village gates & enjoy the merriment. In fact, we wouldn’t think of continuing without thee! To begin simply click on the links within this page.
Anon & May’st Only Good Health Enter Thy Kingdom - Faire Maiden Sky & Handsomely Rugged Sir Thomas