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Obesity Risks to Health

This is my personal story about my father and his last days on earth. It shows how obesity can cut a life short or make it less than it should be; my hope is that if you are experiencing issues with your weight that you'll gain insight from my dad's story and make a healthy change in your diet. While medications, surgery and pills can overcome health issues associated with obesity - in the end, that extra weight proves too much for the body to overcome.

Losing the weight can be the difference in dying with dignity - or hooked up to a machine that breathes for you, a machine that makes the kidneys work and a family who goes through great pain in losing their loved one. While my dad wouldn't lose weight for himself, I wish he would have done it for his family. Also, thank you to all who have written and offered their condolences.

Flight of the Iron Horse - My Dad's Dead End Diet - It is the dawn of Valentine's Day and it marks my dad's three-week Rendezvous With Death.  Will he make it?  I honestly don't know, but I do know his Diet History and I don't want you to make the same mistakes as he made.

This is his story.  It is mine, too.  For you see, when we live a life of satisfying ourselves with the food we love, we rarely pause to think how our folly may play out in our loved one's lives.

As a note, my dad was diagnosed with diabetes shortly after turning 40.  Diet wouldn't control the diabetes because he never gave it a serious chance.  He progressed to insulin when he entered his late 40's.  We take up with his story, 30 years later....

Sunday, January 23 - My dad awoke and didn't feel so well.  He had experienced a light heart attack last April and tests showed that he had 90% blockage in three arteries.  At 71, he had opted not to have by-pass heart surgery and to just enjoy what little life he had left.  Diabetics have a problem losing limbs and since the doctors would be taking veins from his leg to use for the surgery, my dad was concerned that it might cost him a leg.  He had already lost a toe several years ago to diabetes and it was a scary ordeal.  So scary that he avoided cakes and cookies for two weeks after the toe came off.

In the emergency room, the doctors tell dad that he has experienced another heart attack, but his heart is now too weak to perform by-pass surgery.  He is admitted to the Critical Care Unit (CCU) for observation.

Monday, January 24 - Tom and I arrive at the hospital to find dad propped up on the bed looking like he'd been hit by a beer truck.  Eight doctors are working on him in the room.  Later we would learn that dad experienced a massive heart attack.

He is placed into a drug-induced coma and on a breathing machine.  He is finally stabilized before midnight.  His kidneys have shut down.

Tuesday, January 25 - Dad had a very rough night.  The doctors have decided that he's got one shot.  Unless his arteries are cleared, he won't make it.  My mother signs all the necessary papers and dad is rolled into surgery.  My mom and I wait for almost 4 long hours.  We talk.  We cry.  We cry some more.  The doctor doing the surgery says that dad has less than a 50% chance in making it through the surgery.  A balloon pump will also be inserted into my dad to assist the heart in pumping blood.

During this time, people are coming and going out of the surgical unit.  Every time someone exits, our hearts go into our throats.  In the meantime, my mom is feeling very ill - like she's coming down with the flu.

Dad pulls through the surgery, but I must take mom home.  She is looking a bit green at this point.  We meet up with Tom and drive mom home.

On this day, I think about all the abuse that my dad did to his body over the years.  He would eat whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and as much as he wanted.  At this point, he was about 50 pounds overweight and although he had once been extremely active, due to his heart condition he had been very inactive the last few months.  I wished so bad that he had wanted to have the by-pass surgery, but it hadn't been my decision to make.  Or mom's either.

Wednesday, January 26 - My dad looks fairly peaceful laying in bed, though the breathing machine terrifies me.  I want so badly to talk with him.  I wonder if his mind will be all there when he awakes because his blood pressure got very low during the surgery.  The doctors have him on 4 blood thinners, a barrage of other medications, as well as medicine to keep his blood pressure from dipping too low again.

Mom is at home, ill with the flu.  She frets because she is unable to come to the hospital to see dad.  It's so hard when you've been married to someone for 53 years.  

Thursday, January 27 - My dad has developed a high fever and the doctors cannot determine the source of the infection.  He has also began swelling due to the toxins locked into this body and his inability to urinate.

It is my bother's birthday and I pray that dad doesn't die.

Friday, January 28 - Dad made it through the night.  His numbers are still fluctuating and we wait for his body to announce what it will do.

Saturday, January 29 - At 2 am in the morning dad's doctor phones my mother and tells her that we need to unhook him because his blood pressure is too low.

The family meets at the hospital shortly thereafter and the Chaplin is called.  We go back to see him and it was almost too horrible to endure seeing my dad like that.  He was twice his size - swollen by the toxins in his body.

The nurse is working furiously, not giving up.  She continues to pour medicine down his feeding tube to bind the potassium.  By 6 am we have cried until nothing is left and the funeral is being planned.  We go back to see him for the last time and the medicine has kicked in.  A young doctor blurts out, "We may have a miracle on our hands."

A bit later, one of the doctors comes out and says that they plan on removing the balloon pump in a bit - which is a big step forward.

Time passes and the family is totally exhausted while dad is locked in a drug induced slumber - oblivious to what is happening around him.  Two doctors approach us and explain that they want to start dialysis on dad to remove the toxins.  They tell us that is it common for the kidneys to shut down after a massive heart attack has occurred and that hopefully, the dialysis will not be permanent.  Mom agrees to the procedure.

One of the doctors puts an arm around her to comfort her.  He realizes that she is recovering from the flu and I was in awe of this doctor and his fearless compassion towards her.

About an hour later, I go back to check on dad and the hospital has a couple of monitors at the nurse's station.  Dad is on the top monitor but I can see that the doctors are still working on getting him hooked up to the dialysis machine.

I tell a nearby nurse that once my dad recovers, I am going to kill him for putting us through this.  She laughs.

I must admit that I realize the diabetes played a big role in dad's current situation.  I also realize that if dad had watched his diet, he most probably wouldn't be in this situation.  My heart is so grieved.  I want him back whole, so badly with us.  He is the life of the family - a wonderful father and grandfather who is always happy.  I suddenly wonder what the holidays will be like without him.  I wonder what will happen to my mom.  She has terrible health problems of her own.  I am suddenly numb from it all and realize that I'm not feeling so well.  I decide not to see my dad later that afternoon as I realize I am coming down with the flu.

Sunday, January 30 - I have the flu and it's hard to think.  I pray continually for my dad to recover.  The doctors say that his swelling will take a few days to subside.

Monday, January 31 - Dad has a high fever.  My mom and I wonder if he caught the flu from us and the doctors reassure us that he hasn't.  The doctors begin a barrage of tests but are unable to identify the source of infection.  Dad's oxygen levels vary from 40% to 100%.  It's not good.

My mother is at his bedside praying for his kidneys to kick in again.  As she prays, she hears a noise and looks down to see that dad's kidneys are working. Although she was praying, when she saw this happening, she could hardly believe it was so.  Many times, we pray and God answers.  Sometimes when God answers, it's hard to believe that He did.

Tuesday, February - Though the fever continues to rise and fall, dad's swelling is subsiding as his kidneys are once again functioning.

Wednesday, February 2 - My dad continues to make progress.  Some of the blood thinner has been discontinued.  His fever also continues to come and go.  The doctors tell us that it is a miracle that he is still alive.  

Thursday, February 3 - The dialysis machine is removed - another giant step forward.  In a couple more days, the doctors will begin to remove dad from his drug-induced coma.  

Friday, February 4 - Dad is 72 today.  I pray that he doesn't die on his birthday.

Saturday, February 5 - Doctor tells us that dad is anemic and will need a transfusion.  He has blood in his stool and in his lungs.  They do not know where the blood is coming from nor can they determine the sight of the infection.

Sunday, February 6 -  The doctor cannot reach mom as she was in the shower and didn't hear the phone ringing.  He asks permission to put a central line in dad's neck.  I said yes.  The doctor tells me that they are carefully optimistic at this point that he will recover.

They have been cutting back on the morphine to bring dad back to the land of the living.  They will try to remove the life support tomorrow.  There is a 10% chance that he will not be able to breathe on his own.

Monday, February 7 - Dad's doctor talks with me when I call the hospital and said that he has decided to wait to remove the tube until tomorrow because he doesn't feel like dad is ready just yet 'to fly'.  When a patient is able to breathe on their own, the doctors tease that they are flying.

Tuesday, February 8 - Mom and I arrive at the hospital extremely early. I was up at 5 am in order to get us there by 8 am.  It is a 200 mile round trip for me and I've been doing this a long while now.  We are all exhausted.  Tom continues to hold down the home-front, but it's taxing on everyone.  Dad continues to lie in peaceful slumber.

We have been talking to him because on the night dad almost went to Jesus, the Chaplin told us that the hearing is the last to go and the Chaplin thought that dad could still hear us.  He encouraged us to talk to him.  The nurses however, asked us to stay quiet around him.  Mom and I don't know what to do anymore.  We try to stay out of the way.  When we aren't able to make it to the hospital, we feel guilty.  It's horrible.

9 am - Sleeping beauty awakes!!  Dad has the life support out of him and is jabbering like crazy.  I am crying because I am happy and am hugged by a nurse.

The doctor however, is a bit concerned over the jabbering, then tells us that he may do that for a week or so.  The kidneys shutting down, the heart - all of that causes a bit of confusion.

Dad knows who we are and appears happy.  He is going in and out of his conscious to his sub-conscious.  He will not shut up talking and the nurses are having a fit because they want him to rest his voice.  They finally give up because he talks regardless if anyone is there or not.

Mom and I leave the hospital crying tears of joy.  Dad will be coming home in about a week if all goes well, but the doctor exercises caution and is concerned about the lingering fever.  

Wednesday, February 9 - My mom calls shortly after midnight.  Dad couldn't breathe so they had to put him back on the breathing machine.

Thursday, February 10 - Dad's fever soars.  They have traced the infection to his gall bladder.  A surgeon calls mom for permission to place a tube in dad's gall bladder to drain the infection.  She says yes.  

Friday, February 11 - Dad is swelling again and has a high fever.  The nurses had to put him on ice.  He also has a bad abscess from being in bed so long.

Saturday, February 12 - Doctor tells us that dad is as bad as he was just after the heart attack.  Things are not going well at all.  We are all depressed.

Sunday, February 13 -  Dad's fever is coming down a bit but his breathing is at 60%.  He will be on the breathing machine for a few days longer.

We are all so tired.

Monday, February 14 -  It is Valentine's Day.  Dad is rapidly failing.  A team of doctors confer and the family is called to the hospital.  We are advised to remove the breathing machine. At this point, Dad's breathing has flattened, his blood pressure is dependent upon the medications, his kidneys have failed to a point of dialysis, his lungs have major damage and an infection has spread throughout his chest.  The doctors are no longer sure if his gall bladder is the main cause of the infection.  The doctors tell us that they can keep him breathing for a long while, but basically he is gone.  They of course, cannot tell us 100% that he will not make a comeback, but the chances are slim to none.

My mom cannot pull the life support; after conferring with the doctors, it is decided that we will give Dad 24 hours to make progress.  A trake must be inserted soon into his throat if life saving treatment is to continue.

I look at my Dad.  His eyes are set and there is no sign of life.  I hold his hand.  I pray.  I feel the spirit when I pray and I try to believe that he will pull off another miracle, but in my heart of hearts, I feel that my Dad has been dead since Sunday morning.  The gall bladder drain only worsened his condition; his heart had played out and was too weak to fight anything anymore.

Tuesday, February 15 -  I call the CCU early in the morning and the nurse talks with me.  He feels that Dad is basically gone and that we need to remove the machines.  I call mom.  After talking with her, she also agrees.  Tom and I pick her up and go to the hospital.

Shortly after we arrive, two doctors meet with us and tell us that if we do not pull the plug, Dad needs dialysis immediately.  We all feel that it will only prolong his misery.  He is too far gone.  The doctors feel that his kidneys will possibly  recover and  if they do, that he will most probably be on permanent dialysis.  The doctors also feel that he will never get off the breathing machine, even if they can somehow cure his massive infection.

I go to my Dad's room and he is gone.  Nothing is left of him and only the machine keeps him going now.  I see a tear in the corner of his right eye and I wonder how much he knows at this point.  Is his eye just watering?  Is he in pain?  How much does he know?  When he was conscious that single day, he was in quite a jumble and very confused.  Surely, his thoughts - if any at this point, would be jumbled.  I do not feel that he would be laying there, thinking and praying to God as he would in his well state.

The Chaplin is with us; the doctors pull the machine telling us beforehand that Dad could last several days without dying.  He barely lasted two minutes.  Two short gasps, and he was gone.  My Dad finally flew.  

I remember one of his favorite doctors telling us several days ago when Dad got off the vent, that he would be going home in about a week  if all went well.  It's been exactly a week and Dad went home, but unfortunately for us, it was not his humble little home with a flock of grandchildren, a loving wife, and a garden space waiting for him to turn the soil and plant the seeds.  It is a home where the streets are made of pure gold and where I am sure that by now, God is wondering why on earth He decided to take Dad from us, because my Dad is a handful and is probably driving all the Saints completely nuts.  He's probably plowed up half of heaven by now.  

That is my story.  It is also my Dad's story.  If he were here now, how differently he would conduct his life.  His diet played a major roll in his diabetes, and in turn, the diabetes damaged his heart, fatally.  

My Dad would tell you that if you are currently fighting your weight, please begin now to eat a healthier diet and to exercise so you can avoid going through a situation like he did.  More importantly, you will save your loved ones so much heartache.  If you can't do it for yourself, please do it for them.

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