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Thursday, January 27, 2005 - My dad has developed a high fever and the doctors cannot determine the source of the infection.  He has also began swelling due to the toxins locked into this body and his inability to urinate.

It is my bother's birthday and I pray that dad doesn't die.

Friday, January 28, 2005 - Dad made it through the night.  His numbers are still fluctuating and we wait for his body to announce what it will do.

Saturday, January 29, 2005 - At 2 am in the morning dad's doctor phones my mother and tells her that we need to unhook him because his blood pressure is too low.

The family meets at the hospital shortly thereafter and the Chaplin is called.  We go back to see him and it was almost too horrible to endure seeing my dad like that.  He was twice his size - swollen by the toxins in his body.

The nurse is working furiously, not giving up.  She continues to pour medicine down his feeding tube to bind the potassium.  By 6 am we have cried until nothing is left and the funeral is being planned.  We go back to see him for the last time and the medicine has kicked in.  A young doctor blurts out, "We may have a miracle on our hands."

A bit later, one of the doctors comes out and says that they plan on removing the balloon pump in a bit - which is a big step forward.

Time passes and the family is totally exhausted while dad is locked in a drug induced slumber - oblivious to what is happening around him.  Two doctors approach us and explain that they want to start dialysis on dad to remove the toxins.  They tell us that is it common for the kidneys to shut down after a massive heart attack has occurred and that hopefully, the dialysis will not be permanent.  Mom agrees to the procedure.

One of the doctors puts an arm around her to comfort her.  He realizes that she is recovering from the flu and I was in awe of this doctor and his fearless compassion towards her.

About an hour later, I go back to check on dad and the hospital has a couple of monitors at the nurse's station.  Dad is on the top monitor but I can see that the doctors are still working on getting him hooked up to the dialysis machine.

I tell a nearby nurse that once my dad recovers, I am going to kill him for putting us through this.  She laughs.

I must admit that I realize the diabetes played a big role in dad's current situation.  I also realize that if dad had watched his diet, he most probably wouldn't be in this situation.  My heart is so grieved.  I want him back whole, so badly with us.  He is the life of the family - a wonderful father and grandfather who is always happy.  I suddenly wonder what the holidays will be like without him.  I wonder what will happen to my mom.  She has terrible health problems of her own.  I am suddenly numb from it all and realize that I'm not feeling so well.  I decide not to see my dad later that afternoon as I realize I am coming down with the flu.

Sunday, January 30, 2005 - I have the flu and it's hard to think.  I pray continually for my dad to recover.  The doctors say that his swelling will take a few days to subside.

Monday, January 31, 2005 - Dad has a high fever.  My mom and I wonder if he caught the flu from us and the doctors reassure us that he hasn't.  The doctors begin a barrage of tests but are unable to identify the source of infection.  Dad's oxygen levels vary from 40% to 100%.  It's not good.

My mother is at his bedside praying for his kidneys to kick in again.  As she prays, she hears a noise and looks down to see that dad's kidneys are working. Although she was praying, when she saw this happening, she could hardly believe it was so.  Many times, we pray and God answers.  Sometimes when God answers, it's hard to believe that He did.

Tuesday, February 1, 2005 - Though the fever continues to rise and fall, dad's swelling is subsiding as his kidneys are once again functioning.

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