In her haste, she stumbled into two elderly men, both their faces lit with a smile.
"Their faces are hung that way due to the frozen tundra-like air hanging in the evening shadows," Edna silently decided, fussing at the men for blocking her path and detaining her journey. "No doubt their faces are frozen in time," she added, her mood not to be reckoned with.
"Good day, kind madam!" they simultaneously greeted her, tipping their stove-pipe hats.
"Bah! Doodlebug! Out of my way!" Edna demanded, shoving them away with her arms, unsuccessfully so.
"A penny for the new Village health spa?" they inquired, faces hopeful and still smiling.
Edna scowled. A rotting little health spa was the last thing this village needed! How dare the political hierarchies squander the town's funds on machines that made one pump and sweat. Yes, there were times when pumping and sweating rendered good, thrilling things, but a health spa wasn't one of those situations.
"Out of my way, I say to you again!" she tossed out, seeking an egress to pass these begging looters. They should be outlawed, them and their ludicrous health spa.
"But madam, a health spa will bring about better health, longer life and great joy to the village-"
"Life? Humph! Health nuts should do this world a favor by quickly decreasing the surplus population!"
Edna felt a rod of satisfaction echo through her as both men's faces suddenly thawed and revolved into a horrified stance.
"Now be gone! Leave me alone! Looters - you stinking sons of bench pressers!"
Edna clamored on by, then swiftly collected her ingredients for broccoli cheese soup. The aged cheddar looked rather lovely this evening, a delicious golden hue. My, her soup would be tasty....
By the time she reached home, the gray skies loomed overhead with the promise of snow. Nonetheless, it was Christmas Eve and the blasted threat of snow was as predictable as a pocket on a possum.
Amid placing the skeleton key into the door of her humble abode, she suddenly gasped and darted backwards as her carp's head door knocker suddenly transformed into a head of cabbage with eyes..... A cabbage head without a doll"s body. Totally frightening, with or without the body; however, the ominous circumstance was unexpected.
"Remember me, Edna Weezer?" the cabbage eased out in a voice that sounded five days dead.
"Wha....what?" Edna managed to gasp, totally terrified.
"I am your diet, dear Edna - your dead diet. Ringing a bell, yet?"
Suddenly, the cabbage head faded, transforming back into a door knocker. Edna gazed at the carp's head, thinking that it looked a little green around the gills. Yes, that was it - an illusion. A door knocker illusion! Tarnish does that. And her thoughts were a bit scattered due to poor nutrition; those cheese enchiladas were swiftly wearing off.
She entered the cold house and quickly set one imitation quick-light log in the hearth, then scampered into the dark kitchen to prepare her broccoli cheese soup. Fifteen minutes later she was resting by the fire, wrapped in a paisley blanket and feeling as warm and fuzzy as the bunny house slippers she had popped onto her feet.
Edna bolted up straighter that a cheese stick, widening her eyes as she viewed a cabbage head floating before her, heavy chains entwined around its wilted leaves.
Stunned, she was forced to listen as the cabbage told her, "Tonight three Diet Spirits will come to visit thee. Be forewarned! You must change your evil Diet Ways by Christmas Day or your future cannot be altered."
And then the cabbage head vanished before her, Edna quickly recovering.
"Bah! Doodlebug! Another illusion," she mumbled, deciding that her apparition was connected to lack of sleep.
She went to bed, burying herself in the covers of warmth, settling into a deep and peaceful sleep.
"Bong, Bong," sang out the bell tower. Two am in the morning....
"Edna Weezer, wake up," a young voice beckoned. "It is time to visit your Diet Christmas Past."
Edna bolted up in bed, feeling discombobulated. She was seeing things again, but this time, not cabbage heads. It was a Diet Fairy with the words Diet Bites written on its wings; 'Diet' on one wing and 'Bites' on the other wing.
"Forevermore," Edna blurted out through her dazed state. This couldn"t be more imagining, could it? No, it must be a gas attack from too much broccoli in the soup this evening.
And then she was floating, but not from the gas. The fairy magically opened the bedroom window and Edna was spiraling away through space with the Diet Bites' diet fairy, to visit her past...her Diet Christmas Past......
Some idiot was playing a fiddle. Where was all the music coming from, Edna wondered amid her frenzied state.
And then the diet fairy pointed her wand downward, to the child that was sitting at the wooden table.
My, what a delightful child - a splendid child, a beautiful child, Edna thought with sudden glee!
And then she recognized the form of the face, the tilt of the heart-shaped chin....
Oh my...it was her, as a wee, rag of a muffin child.
What spindly legs, she laughed with glee.
And then Edna studied the plate before the child. Green beans, roasted chicken, a biscuit, and a small bowl of chopped fruit for dessert. Such a healthy child! A delightful child! A smart diet child!
The child was suddenly running towards a large alley with the words, 'Village Health Spa' written on its hinged gates. "Going to take a swim, no doubt at the healthy health spa," Edna thought, and then she gasped as the spa suddenly disappeared before her eyes.
In desperation, she glanced at the Diet Fairy for an explanation. "Health nuts should do this world a favor by quickly decreasing the surplus population!" the Diet Fairy bit out.
Suddenly, Edna Weezer was spiraling back in time, landing with a plop on her bed where she drifted off into an exhausted sleep.
"Bong, Bong, Bong," chimed the bell tower. Three am in the morning.
"Edna Weezer, wake up," a man echoed in a deep voice. "It's time to visit your Diet Christmas Present."
Edna reared up in bed, sizing up the ghost who looked a bit like old Cringle himself. But this fellow wasn't such a jolly old elf....
Edna quickly found herself roaming the village, seeing herself in quaint, familiar restaurants eating forbidden foods.
In one corner of the village bakery stood a woman, her face cloudy and unidentifiable. She looked as if she were on her last leg....as if...she were fading away...
"Tell me sir, what is to become of the woman? She looks rather....ill and...as if she is fading from view..." Edna eased out softly.
"That's Tiny Trim Edna," the ghost of Diet Present eased out in his loud voice, so loud that the curtains in the bakery flapped back and forth. "If Tiny Trim Edna isn't nourished and taken seriously, she will soon pass and fade forever. A Big Edna will take her place and Tiny Trim Edna will be no more."
"That's me," Edna eased out thoughtfully, admiring the curves on her mirrored self. That's what she would have looked like if she would have stayed on her blasted diet plan....
"Please, ghost of Christmas Present, tell me what I need to do to keep the Tiny Trim Edna?'
The ghost sanded a hand over his chin in thought. "Visit Diet Bites daily of course-"
"Yes, of course - I know that, but what else?" Edna blurted out, seeing that Tiny Trim Edna was fading fast.
"You must change, Edna Weezer, for Tiny Trim Edna's passing is merely a shadow of things to come if you don't change your diet ways...."
"Bong, Bong, Bong, Bong" rang out the bell tower. Four am in the morning.
Edna bolted up, anxious to see the last spirit. At this point she wanted to find out what those shadows turned into - those shadows that the ghost of Christmas Present was referring to.
A spirit like none of the others before, stood before her, its lips silenced with the Word of Diet Truth.
Edna gasped as the spirit of Christmas Future pointed a long index finger supporting fushia colored nails, indicating her to go to the window.
"Oh please, spirit - tell me what lurks beyond - in my Diet Future?"
Suddenly she was transported to her Christmas Diet Future, the spirit hovering beside her.
A woman sat in the distance, the near distance. She was carrying a lot of weight.
Something lay in front of her...a tombstone of sorts. No...it wasn't a pizza.
Edna edged closer to see what the woman was concealing. She gasped as she read the words on the tombstone,
"Here lies Tiny Trim Edna who is no more...."
"Oh please, spirit! Give me one last chance!" Edna begged, frantically pulling at the bloodstone cape that the spirit wore.
And then she fell to her knees, and knew no more.
"Bong, Bong, Bong, Bong, Bong, Bong, Bong, Bong, Bing" rang the bell tower. Eight-thirty am.
Edna Weezer bolted up in bed.
Had she missed Christmas Day? Oh, please no! Not Christmas Day! It was a wonderful day, a beautiful day, the first day of her New Diet Day!
Rushing to the window, she threw back the sash and a white breast of snow greeted her smiling face.
She lifted the window and yelled to a young lad pulling a sled below, "What day is it?"
"What day is it, young man?" she asked inquisitively, feeling giddy and happy about life.
"Christmas Day, you old bat," the boy spat out.
"A splendid boy! A wonderful boy!" and she tossed him a Susan B. Anthony out the window which bounced off the boy's head.
Edna began singing as she prepared for the day, a meal at her brother, Rob Snatchit's house.
He had a lovely wife, a healthy wife, a wife who loved cooking healthy Christmas dinners!
To think that only yesterday Edna had not looked forward to attending Christmas Dinner.
Edna was as true to her diet as winter was to December. She faithfully embraced healthy foods into her diet plan, and of course, visited Diet Bites every day.
She often spent time in the evening hours at the local health spa, to which she contributed a large chunk of cold cash.
Edna lived well beyond her years, feeling healthy and as fit as a fiddle.
Don't you just love a happy ending?
But our story doesn't stop with Edna. No it doesn't. With the holidays at hand, what better opportunity than today to reflect upon your Diet History, your Diet Present and your Diet Future?
If you have unwanted pounds to lose, if those are allowed to continue to collect more dust over the years, in time they can impact your good health as well as steal years from your life.
If you are currently at or near your recommended weight, it's a great time to look at your daily diet to ensure that your body is receiving all the nutrition necessary to be as healthy as it can be.
And whatever your situation - embracing an activity plan can increase mobility, strengthen bones and muscles - including your heart which is the most important muscle of all.
So please take time to take stock and then make the necessary changes. No - it's not always easy, but it's not always so difficult either. Life is about many choices. We can choose what we want to put into our body, when we want to do such, and we can often choose an activity which will empower our good health. Do it for you!