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The Absolute Worst Diet Scenario

When Your Doctor Prescribes Dieting

Pirate Dieting, Mutiny & One Sweet Dieting Treasure Map ~ The Saga Continues

About the Diet Pirate Map  (click here to view Large Diet Pirate Map)

- Note the cross-arrow, making our starting point.  See how confusing dieting can be?  The 'Idiot Arrow' is pointed in all the directions of the wind. There is not a clearly marked path. Nonetheless, please ignore the arrow and head northwesterly.

- Take care, for we are entering the backyard of the Perverted Pizza Maker. He's a very cheesy sort-of-guy.  Perverted generally makes a lot of money from non-dieting citizens, and as we know, dough makes the hands a bit sticky.  And you just can't trust a man whose fingers smell like garlic, so let's trip on by this person in the funny-looking hat.  By the way, is anyone missing a rabbit?

- As we travel northwesterly, we suddenly find ourselves entering the Trail of the Three Winnies. Oscar, Bryan, and Rath are looking very studly today, aren't they?  Nice buns, too. The sunshades have that, "Come and bite me look".  But as you can see, if we veer towards this trail, we'll end up in a never-ending diet loop, sucked into the blackhole of diet failure and deceptive-looking food filled with pork's nostrils and penile parts.  

Therefore, simply ignore these Three Winnies, just as you did the Perverted Pizza Maker, and let's trek northward.

 click here to continue Diet Journey

Or Navigate Diet Saga by Clicking Below

Act 1 | Act 2 | Act 3 | Act 4 | Act 5 | Act 6 | Act 7

Believing in Weight Loss - Do you often dream of being your recommend weight? Is the thought overwhelming because accomplishing that goal seems unbelievable? Whether it's dropping 150 pounds or 10 pounds, dieting can be overwhelming.  continue

 Are You Too Big for Your Britches? Three Day Diet to a Thinner Size Britches - Lucky you because Diet Bites has a formula that will help shrink that body so those pants will fit like a glove - minus three fingers (minus two fingers for males). click to continue

I'm Going to Get You, You Dirty Diet You! - Is your diet plan creating a weight gain?  Then it may be time to blow it up before it blows you up!  click to continue

Diet Turnip Truck - Diet out of control? Don't fall off the Diet Turnip Truck just yet.  click to continue

Things You Need to Know Before You Begin Any Diet - Before attempting to subscribe to any weight loss plan it’s imperative to know the amount of food that you are currently eating and what proportions you will be eating when you begin your diet.  Let’s ask ourselves some very important questions before we began.  click to continue

Dessert Island - Is not getting a handle on those dessert calories getting a love handle on you?  Then this article's for you. click to continue

Body Frame Size - Quick method for determining your body's frame size.  Click here to continue

Up Diet Creek Without a Paddle - Dealing with diet suckholes. The four winds were colliding over Diet Creek and Jenny didn't have a paddle in sight.  She heard the rumbling waterfall in the distance, not having time to wonder what a waterfall was doing in a creek.  click to continue

Hitting Diet Pay Dirt - When Dieting Pays Off on Those Weight Scales - A wad of sugarfree gum here, a stash of rice cakes there.  A diet drink that stinks here, and an almost calorieless piece of fake cheese there.  When dieting pays off in a big weigh...  click to continue

The Fast & Furious Diet - Dieter Jenna is furious with old diet plan and is determined to set things straight. Will she succeed?  Oh mommy!  click to continue

The Day the Diet Rains Came Up & Flooded the Valley of Thin - An increase in weight isn't the only increase when it comes to obesity.  Grab those tissues - this one's going to be a Diet Tear-Jerker. click to continue

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