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Dieting - Venom in Denim

Empowered to Face the Weight Loss Battle of the Bulge

Back in the 1970's, polyester blowed everyone out. Yes, blowed. During the 1980's, everyone graduated to aluminum exercise suits. My sister-in-law had one and looked like an escaped turkey every time she exercised. Boy, could she work up a sweat, roasting those unwanted pounds away! 

And speaking of sweats, during the 1990's, sweats were King.

And where has fashion taken us over the past few years?  No doubt that jeans are the Girdle of the New Millennium. Who would think that one tiny zipper could conceal twenty-five pounds? And sometimes more..... 

The great thing about jeans is if you look like you have been poured into them, it's generally accepted.  Even tiny people wear skin-tight jeans these days, making gender identification a whiz.

The bad thing about jeans is that before the individual realizes, several pounds may have crept up on them until one day, that zipper can no longer make it up the little mountain.

In addition, wearing super-tight clothing, particularly around the mid-section, restricts the internal organs from functioning properly. Please don't tarry until your stool spells out 'H-E-L-P' to act on the restricting situation. Begin "loosening up" by following the following tips:

 When your jeans start to make you feel like a pressurized can of corn, begin cutting back on food intake asap.  Don't wait until after the first of the month, or the Christmas holidays to begin your diet - even if it is July.

Get ripped!  No - don't rip your jeans - rip your abs! Tightening up the abdominal cavity will make those now-tight jeans slip on like a silk stocking on a bald leg.

Don't give in and graduate to larger sized jeans if at all possible (unless your tongue has squeezed completely out of your mouth and your face is as red as a turkey's wattle) (it's the old escaped turkey syndrome in a mutated form).

Jeans are one of our most fantastic inventions!  Nothing lasts longer, looks hotter, or washes up easier than jeans.  Do them proud!

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