Jurassic Diet

Where it all began!!

Copyrighted by Diet Bites

Did you ever wonder when dieting began? About its roots, and founding Troglodytes (prehistoric cave dwellers)? Well, wonder no more! Diet Bites reveals the beginning of diet phobia…..

In the beginning, Ugh and Aah lived in a medium-income 'cavehood' equipped with one large room that served as a kitchen, dining room, bedroom, game room and den. Their bathroom was located behind the cave, down a lane, the third tree to the right. It was a comfortable cave and always a perfect temperature - spring, summer, winter or fall.

Ugh and Aah were your normal caveman family. Ugh worked at the local club-making shop, and spent his free time hunting triceratops. Aah was a stay at home cavewife, and enjoyed cooking and making Ugh one-shouldered fur garments in her free time. Ugh and Aah were a very happy cave couple.

Then it happened! New fast-food cave establishments began popping up all through the area. Jack-in-the-Cave, What-a-Cleaver, Dunkin DoDo's - oh, and all so tasty!

Next, ethnic establishments began to innocently thread their way into the cavehood; Taco Chihuahua, The Macaroni Wheel, and Red Smelter's.

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Every day, Ugh and Aah would visit these tasty cave-in-the-wall spots. Aah enjoyed them because there was nothing to take down by the stream and wash off. Ugh enjoyed the food, as well as the scantily clad cave waitresses.

Ugh and Aah began to notice that there was something 'not quite right' with their furry attire. Ugh could no longer stick a hand into his outfit to scratch that bothersome itch. Aah found that she could no longer stuff her rocks into her fur outfit, rocks that she took to market to pay for necessary cave items, such as larger smooth rocks, flat rocks, and stick-crafts.

Furthermore, Aah was getting to feel like a heavy chunk of lead whenever Ugh tried to pull her around the cave by her hair bone. Poor Aah was finding it necessary to use the skins of two Gila monsters, rather than one, when making Ugh's belts.

Ugh and Aah were baffled! Why were their furry outfits shrinking?

Ugh's and Aah's outfits became so teensy on them, that they began spending a lot of time at home. Although Aah was a super cave sewing person, she couldn't sew quite fast enough to keep up with the weight gain. It was so time-consuming, threading a black rhino hair through that tiny stick with the small eye. Oh, how they missed those quaint fast-food establishments…

Then something astonishing happened! They begin to notice that their furry outfits were getting loose again. Then everything suddenly connected! Those tasty little fast-food spots were filling up much more than Ugh's and Aah's tummies. They were adding outward girth, girth that Aah and Ugh didn't want.

Ugh and Aah began an immediate campaign, trying to warn other people in the cavehood about the dangers of fast food eating. They pitched the following slogan in their very effective campaign: "Deceived Inhabitants Eat There" (DIET).

So there we have it, the origination of dieting. Quite a little story, isn't it?

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