Santa Chokes on Turkey Bone - Dieting During Holidays
Written by Diet Bites
Losing weight amid the holidays and afterwards - tips for weight loss success.
Nick Claus stood anchored in two feet of white snow. It had been a bad day. His elves were demanding triple pay for overtime, Martha Claus had burned his favorite batch of Nutcracker cookies, and the reindeer were driving him crazy with their prancing and pawing.
Nick twisted his boots, managing to pop free from the snow pile. Making his way to The Toy Shop he was filled with regrets. He'd been so hard on Martha for burning his cookies that she'd fled the North Pole to go visit her sisters for Christmas.
The elves couldn't cook, though their cousins who lived in hollow trees were master chefs.
And Nick was hungry, completely empty. Why, if he didn't get nourishment soon, he wouldn't have the energy to deliver his arsenal of gifts tonight. It was the most important day of the year for Nick; Christmas Eve.
He paused a moment at the market and picked up a container of broccoli and cheese soup, a ten pound roasted turkey, and a loaf of Christmas Stolen bread. Just about everything in town had shut down early for the holidays, and he felt lucky that he'd be able to secure such nice goodies. They weren't as good as Martha's, but they would have to do. Oh, how he loved Martha's roasted rosemary turkey!
Soon, he had made his way to The Toy Shop, glad that it was empty for the day. The elves had taken off early so they could sleep in preparation for the long night ahead.
Santa quickly did away with the turkey, soup, and bread but was still famished. He was sitting in front of the warm fire smoking his pipe and reading "A Christmas Carol" when it happened. He had picked up a rather naked turkey leg and was trying to edge off the last few morsels of meat. Unfortunately, he got a little wild and yes, swallowed a little bone in the process.
First, an intense pain in his chest that made his belly feel like a bowl full of jelly! Santa coughed so hard that the smoke from his pipe encircled his head like a wreath! He coughed so hard that his nose was a red as a cherry!
Two hours and thirty-five tests later, Santa was lectured by his doctor.
"Look, Claus, you're going to have to start watching how many goodies you crunch down. We've went over this time and time again." The doctor paused, hoping that he didn't offend Santa. He was hoping for a full stocking come morning. He'd been awfully good this year, even foregoing golf two times to meet a patient at Emergency.
"Ho, ho, ho, I know," Santa eased out, feeling much more jolly now than he did two hours ago.
The doctor grumbled, then eased out, "Your cholesterol is enough to scare a large elf - those veins of yours are filled with entirely too much Christmas cheer, and you've spent far too much time decking the dinner hall this year."
"Ho, ho, ho, I know," Santa laughed, holding his belly as he laughed. "Tell you what, Doc. I'll come back into the office after Christmas and we'll begin that diet routine you're so intent on putting me on. Deal?"
The doctor winced his lips. Well, he couldn't quibble too much. At least Santa was being cooperative, finally cooperative. "Deal, Claus. I'll expect you hear January 1st and not a second later."
"Ho, ho, ho. I'll be there."
But…would he? Would Santa keep his word? Will he work hard and get fit, or will he frolic the year away yet one more time? Will Christmas ever be the same?