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Ex-Diet Relationships & Why They Just Didn't Work Out

Believe it or not, failed diets are a bit like failed relationships.  This action-packed article will explore the Ex-Diet Relationships of Jen and Ted and why they just didn't work out.  This piece is so thrilling that you're not going to be able to put it down. Now put down that darn donut and let's begin reading!

Meet Jen's Ex-Diets and discover why the relationships just didn't work out.  

Jenny has been involved in several diet relationships over the past 30 years in an effort to ditch about 50 unwanted pounds. Some of her ex-diets have been one-night stands while others lasted several months and were very intense; intimate even.  But none of her ex-diets ever worked out.  In fact, there is a commonality that exists among Jen's ex-diets, some very obvious reasons as to why they just didn't work out.  Here are ten:

1. Didn't work.  

Some ex-diets just refuse to work.  No matter how dedicated that an individual is to the diet, it's just not the diet for them.  An effective diet must meet personal needs and must work with your body in order to have weight loss and simply, to be fun!

2. Had a fixation with Mother.

None of Jen's ex-diets came equipped with a definite plan for a long-term relationship thus leading to many sporadic affairs with goodies such as Mother's Cookies, and Mother's secret fattening and unaltered recipes - such as Mother's homemade butter dumplings.  In order for a diet relationship to be successful, visits with Mother must be kept in reign.  

Which brings Jen to a throbbing question.  Should Mother be totally eliminated from the diet relationship? Absolutely not. When used in moderation, Mother's can be very useful to your diet relationship.

3. Didn't take out the trash.

Before embarking upon any diet relationship, one must make a full-fledged effort to take out the diet trash.  Some examples of diet trash include crème filled objects, beer, and tuti fruiti ice cream.

4. Was always late for dinner.

Anything that eat after about 6 PM is going to just sit on your tum-tum and mold.  Unless you work the Vampire Shift, you're not going to get in enough activity to burn off an abundance of energy (calories).

5. Watched too much TV.

A healthy diet relationship includes doing things together.  Your mind MUST communicate and be in harmony with your body. There are times when bodies just need to rest and relax.  But the majority of our waking moments, the body likes to be on the go.

In Jen's former diet relationships, she tended to ignore her body and just let it sit while she engaged in a brainy activity.  And by doing such, the body felt lonely and sad and slowly ballooned even during diet time.

6. Loved to drink.

Alcohol is packed with calories and zero nutrients.  A diet relationship cannot survive if filled with many spirits and few healthy beverage experiences.

7. Drove recklessly and too fast.

Jen was always in a rush to lose her unwanted weight fast!  Diet relationships cannot survive in the fast lane.  Remember, slow and steady wins the Diet Race!

8. Always left the lid up.

Lifting lids can be like opening Pandora's Box!  Don't open the lid, don't open the lid!  This especially applies to jams, jellies, high-calorie baked beans, chili, and greasy shoe-stringed potatoes.

9. Too gassy and always cutting the cheese.

Unfortunately, Jen's ex-diets were all too gassy.  If we cram our bodies full of strange green items that it's unaccustomed to, it's a given that it's going to explode sooner or later out of one end or the other.  The key is to slowly introduce green to lean.  As for cheese, diet versions SUCK.  If you are going to enjoy a bit of cheese on your diet, then go for the REAL THING and enjoy in moderation.

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