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Push Up CowboyConcealing Unsightly Weight Gain
Just look at the offerings: girdles, mid-drift bras, vests, sweaters, coats, jackets, loungewear, ponchos and my all time favorite, moo moos. It's amazing what that one little bowl of ice cream can do to a body. No wonder they call it Death by Chocolate.
Diet Bites has taken the liberty to single out a few of the more classic models. They say humor is always at the expense of something or someone else.
That's true; however, if we can't laugh at our own selves then what's left? And if any of these models ring a familiar chord, Diet Bites is here to help! So here we go…
The Push Up Cowboy
You've seen him. He's the guy that measures 52 inches around the waist yet fits into those size 32 Levi jeans. He's the guy with the really high voice. His belt buckle is equivalent to the hood ornament on 1952 Mercury and he'll probably stake a claim to rodeo fame. He's the 'Push Up Cowboy'. Of course, females are incapable of being so ingenious. When a lady hoists her excess over a pair of jeans everyone just assumes she's with child. And they say it's no longer a man's world.
Mr. Muscle Let's not forget Mr. Muscle. You've seen him, too. He's the guy that's 189 ½ pounds above his maximum weight allowance and he walks like a bow-legged cowboy with both arms curved out at the sides. If you could miniaturize him you could pick him up like a teapot. His voice is always a deep base, although all that manliness would never allow him to sing. Real men don't sing. Mr. Muscle's gait projects the illusion of fitness rather than fat - just as the Push Up Cowboy exudes the 'ram-tough' image.
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