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Digestive Upset, The Day Ben Belched

Diet & Gas Related Problems - Is Your Diet a Real Gas?

Read & share in Ben's horrific trauma. Learn how belching can scar one for life...

Alienated.  Shunned.  Banned from the clan forevermore.

If the noise would have squealed from the opposite end of Ben, everyone would be laughing right now.  But no!  Ben had committed the ultimate evil.  It was The Day Ben Belched...

Shattered dreams lay woven beneath the tattered tapestry hanging in the windows of the dirty little tavern in the distance.  These were Ben's shattered dreams; and his tattered tapestry.  

Funny thing what a tiny belch at the wrong moment can do....

Ben hugged closer to the tree, watching the tattered tapestry flapping about - like an unsettling spirit.  He felt a bit like a chameleon in the dark night, unsure of his surroundings, not knowing which color to turn so that he might once again blend into the crowd.  

He was embarrassed. Too torn up inside to return to the tavern.  The quaint dinner had been going so well, too.  His father had been kind enough to include Ben in the tete-a-tete, thinking his son would impress Mr. Whitfield into selling the 1992 Geo that father so wanted. His old ride was on its last leg and father had always counted on Ben's charms to give wings to his dreams.  And of now, shattered dreams.  Wingless shattered dreams.  And it was all Ben's fault.

Ben shook his thoughts from him and concentrated on a noise in the near distance. The leaves were crunching underfoot - but not under his foot.  Wonder whose foot? And the noise was growing closer....and closer....and closer...

Ben gasped, then made out the silhouette in the distance. "Daddy?  Is that you, daddy?"

"Yes, gas wipe," father drawled, his tone sandblasted with irritation.  "Come here, you idiot.  How dare you ruin my chances with Mr. Whitfield!  He'll never sell me the Geo now!  You're gonna get yours, Mister!"

"Daddy, please - you're scaring me!" Ben pleaded, hugging closer to the tree. He was so tense....so tense that he could feel his overly long nails digging into the trunk of the tree.  "Calm down, daddy dear..."

"Don't you daddy-dear me, you idiot!  You've ruined everything - you and your illustrious belching!  Onions and garlic at that!"

"I'm sorry, daddy," Ben offered, batting his eyes like a window shade stuck in neutral.  He was a bit scared of daddy's gravely voice.  "It's my new diet, daddy.  My body is still adjusting to the gassy foods.  Please don't be angry."

"Angry?  I'm not angry!  I'm infuriated, Ben," father spat out, his steps drawing closer and closer and closer....

For the first time, Ben noticed something wet by his feet.  The evening dew had rolled into the area.  If he would not have been so concerned about daddy, he would have inspected the leather uppers of his rubber-soled shoes.  It wouldn't do to experience shrinkage.

Ben concentrated on dangerous-looking daddy and tried desperately to reason.  "Daddy!  Do you think that I actually intended on....on letting out that awful blasto gasto at the table?  I tell you - it's my new diet.  Surely you have noticed that I've lost weight?  I cannot help that it takes time for my body to adjust to the gassy, low calorie foods-"

"I'll adjust you, Ben!"

Ben shrieked, but father halted as a stranger's voice permeated the air.  It was Mr. Whitfield...

"Hank, please.  Don't be upset with Ben," Mr. Whitfield tried to reason.  "I must say that I am a bit curious to learn about his new diet."  Then to Ben, "You've lost a few pounds there son.  Looking good.  Think you'd mind sharing some diet tips with me?"

Mr. Whitfield reached up to touch his lips in thought, then drew his eyes together like a tiny tarantula when threatened.  "Oh my, excuse me.  I didn't realize I'd been so liberal with the cranberry sauce at the table this evening.  Ha ha ha!!"

Wiping his lips, he placed his free hand onto Ben's shoulder.  "Now, about that diet, son. ..."

Needless to say, Hank got his Geo and at a fair price, too.  Ben went on to show Mr. Whitfield the art of losing weight, sharing the awesome Diet Bites site with him.  At night they would have belching contests together. Everyone was happy and content.  And it all began in an odd sort of way, on The Day That Ben Belched......

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