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Exercise & Diet - Bun Therapy
Down with boring diets! Fun exercises for the bun & buttock area.
Do you
have a little more fluff in your
area than you'd like? Then perhaps it's time for Bun Therapy!
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Balloon Bunocks can happen to anyone, though a few people were born with nothing more than a tiny hole in their back - with no Bun at all. But for those of us with a little more fluff than desired, Bun Therapy might be our only solution. Some of us know that 'fluff' happens so swiftly! One day we were innocently balancing on a set of Bun bones, the next day our buns look like they've been infused with an overdose of yeast.
And unfortunately,
when our 's start running up our back, it's time to hit The Old Diet Trail
for a little BLT (Bun Luck Therapy) (aren't you happy that I didn't make a
typo?).
Bun Therapy, Status of Buns
Your first step is to decide how much unfluffing you'd like to do. To assist you, we have provided some examples below, each with a unique definition (sort of like a report card, isn't it?). Which buns would best suit you?
A. Buns of Steel: These are basically Terminator Bunocks. They require an investment of many, many hours of Bun Therapy per week. Bowling balls and shotputs can bounce freely on these well-defined Bunocks.
B. Honey Buns: These buns look sweet in jeans. They require an investment of many hours of Bun Therapy per week. Your Mother-In-Laws frying pan can bounce on these well-defined Bunocks.
C. Hot-Cross Buns: These buns look hot. You'll need to dedicate a few minutes per day to achieve these buns. These buns are so perfect that nothing bounces anywhere.
D. Bun-G Buns: Admirers usually say, "G, nice buns," when viewing Bun-G Buns.They'll require a bit of dedication to Bun Therapy per week. Tennis balls bounce freely off of these sexy-looking buns.
E. Bun-ny Buns: These buns touch the back of the knees and require zero hours of Bun Therapy per week. Gumballs MAY bounce off these flimsy buns. Be sure to chew gumballs before aiming to fire. Note: Sticky buns may ensue.
F. Sin-a-buns: These buns are accomplished by eating a plethora of icy, cinnamon buns. Although they do not require any commitment to Bun Therapy, they do involve much work. Therefore, we'll say that they require many, many minutes of NEGATIVE Bun Therapy per week. These buns range from fluffy to extra fluffy. Bouncing is not recommended.
Bun Muscles
Yes, even Buns have muscles. These comprise the main muscles in the Bun: gluteus medius, gluteus minimus, gluteus maximus.
Bun Therapy
So what can you do to strengthen your Bun muscles and get a tight tush?
1. Walking
2. Leg Kickbacks/Lunges (where you look like a doggie on all fours and you kick back your leg). These are also great for the thigh area.
3. Bun squeezes.
4. Leg lifts.
5. The Squat! This is perhaps THE best form of Bun Therapy.
HOW TO DO THE SQUAT
Stand with your feet apart - about shoulder width. Next, you'll want to slowly SLOWLY lower your body, keeping your torso very tight. Play like you are going to sit in a chair. When your thighs are parallel with the ground, begin pushing yourself back into your starting stance, keeping your weight focused in your heels. SLOWLY rise.
Work yourself up to a couple of times per week, doing 2-3 sets of 12 reps. Adding some small weights to your workout will increase benefits of Bun Therapy.
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