Butter Diet Tips - Butter Tips for Dieters
Written by Diet Bites
Dieters are taking to the super market in groves and once there they are pursued by an unidentified yellow blob that is claiming to be friendly to the daily diet. But not so....
An unidentified yellow blob that was found wandering the streets, pillaging the villages, the cities, the towns and two state parks in Rhode Island has been identified by the Diet Bite's Health Patrol.
The Blob's given name is Butta, though the Patrol warns that Butta mutations have also been discovered on the planet.
No town is safe, no village is safe, nor is any nation!
Be on the lookout for these mutations that may be slyly disguised:Oleo Blob, Margarine Blob, Exotic Blobs & Light Blobs.
Please note that Margarine Blob sometimes goes by the code name of Margie - so don't be fooled. She can latch onto your thighs or hips and inject 10 pounds in a winkie!
The Patrol has offered several Dieting Safety Tips that will keep your diet on track in the event The Butta Blob tries to infiltrate your kitchen or favorite restaurant...
1. If The Blob sneaks past your refrigerator door, use caution when approaching. To remove butter from your kitchen, carefully snare with a butterfly net using latex gloves to avoid making contact with your skin.
Though The Blob is filled with oil, we cannot with a clear conscience recommend it at this time to make use of it in your car's engine. It goes to reason that if butter clogs arteries - think about what it might do to a perfectly good fuel line.
At the Marketplace
2. If The Blob tries to jump into your cart at the market, call a stock worker over for assistance, preferably one with very large muscular arms as it takes substantial strength to fight against this yellow creature.
Do resist Blob's appeal at all costs. If you find yourself unable to resist, then avoid this section of the diary market. When checking out of the store, request any of the following products as a replacement for The Blob:
a. Refrigerated No-Calorie Butter Spray by Parkay
b. "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter' Spray
c. Mrs. Dash Butter Buds
d. Diet versions of margarine and butter to which you will add spices once you arrive home; using this weight loss strategy can to 'kick up the bland nothingness flavor'.
Mixing in any of the following will add a little tango to your cash purchase:
finely chopped chives
dried rosemary, cilantro, sage or thyme
ground chili powder and a dash of ground cumin
crushed pineapple, drained + 1 packet of Splenda or Equal type sweetener
At the Restaurant
e. When dining out, request that The Butter Blob NOT be invited to your table. Make this ultra clear to your waiter. If you find that you cannot resist a bite of Blob, request that it be brought in 'pat form' so that you can add what you wish to your roll or biscuit.
Request that additional Blob is not added to your entree.