The Smart & Healthwise
One day, Hare told Tortoise, "You are so slow when you exercise! Why, I can exercise circles around you! Why, I can do my exercises in one-tenth the time that you can. Why, I'm the best looking beast in the kingdom! Why, I am the fittest beast in the forest. Why -"
"Why don't you shut up," Tortoise slowly eased out.
Sometimes, Hare raked him the wrong way. Why did Hare always have to act like he was better than everyone else in the kingdom? Just because he was quick, didn't mean he was best.
Yes, he was quick with his exercises - but Tortoise himself had more defined muscles.
One day a cute little Dalmatian named Dot moved to the kingdom. Every day she would sit and watch Hare and Tortoise exercise.
After watching for several weeks, she told them, "I have been watching both of you for a very long while. You look so healthy. You look so trim. I would like to lose a bit of weight myself. I would like to lose 6 pounds. If I lose 6 pounds, I would be at my recommended poochie weight. Would you be so kind as to help me do that?"
"Sure!" bolted out Hare. "I'll have all of your unwanted weight off in one week! You'll look like a champ. I'll take off the weight so fast that you won't know what hit ya!!"
"I will help you lose the weight, Dot, but it will take much longer than Hare promises," eased out Tortoise. "WE will do it slowly. You can expect to lose about 2 pounds a week."
"Get out of here, Tortoise!" bolted out Hare. "Dot wants to lose weight FAST. Your way is too slow." Hare turned on Dot and challenged, "You see the way that he exercises - SLOW. Do you want to lose your weight FAST or SLOW?"
"Dot, I will help you lose the weight the healthy way. I may not promise what Hare does, but my weight loss plan will work best. If you lose the weight too fast, you may regain it. Your doglet body needs time to adjust as you shed the weight."
Dot informed. "Tortoise, thank you for offering to help me lose weight, but your way is too slow. I will let Hare help me. I MUST lose my weight quickly so I can get my boyfriend back. By the time you help me lose weight it will be too late."
"But Dot - you should not worry about your ex-boyfriend! He is not reason enough to lose weight. You must lose weight for yourself and no one else."
Tortoise paused, seeing that Dot had closed her ears for she was walking away, following Hare who was hopping quite madly down the old bunny trail - a far, far piece from The Tried & True, Old Diet Trail.
Tortoise said to himself, "If I live another 50 years, I'll still never understand women. Huh!"
Day after day, Tortoise watched Hare coach Dot. They ran and ran, though Hare hopped more than ran.
Every meal was the same old faire, a plate of carrot sticks for Hare and a plate of carrot sticks for Dot.
Hare gobbled his carrot sticks up in no time flat. It was his normal food faire - his favorite food faire.
But Tortoise could tell that Dot was bored with the same old faire because she would bury her carrot sticks when Hare wasn't watching.
On the seventh day, Dot weighed. Hare was there; so was Tortoise.
"Oh my! How can this be? I weigh more now than when I started my diet!"
Tortoise decided to keep quiet about Dot's bingeing on the fatty lamb bone that she had snatched from the village butcher's shoppe. Hare had been sleeping and had missed the entire ordeal.
But Tortoise knew in his shell-of-shell that Dot would do such. Her diet was boring. Her diet was not fun. Her diet was quick and very stale.
Hare arched his bushy brows and lifted up his pink button nose. "Humph! You are a loser, Dot - that's why! No wonder your boyfriend left you! And now, I will leave you too! You are a L-O-S-E-R!"
Tortoise felt sad for Dot because she broke down and started howling. The eerie sound was driving Tortoise ga-ga. "There, there, little Dot! Hare is right - you ARE a loser - but NOT like you think! Let me show you how to lose the weight forever? We will do it right this time. We will make it fun!"
Dot jumped up and down with glee. "Yelp! Yelp! I need your help, Tortoise!"
Over the next few weeks, Tortoise coached Dot slowly, but wisely.
He showed her how to roast her meaty bones rather than deep fat frying them.
He introduced her to a market that sold leaner cuts of meaty bones along with no calorie sweetener, no calorie butter sprays, no calorie cooking sprays and diet skim-milkbones.
Lucky for Dot that she couldn't eat chocolate because Tortoise didn't have a quick or slow fix for that. Not yet anyway!
He also took her to the tailor's and suited her out in a fine collar that took 2 pounds off her neck. Dot was so happy and appeared to have GAINED confidence.
Then he took her to a stylist who gave Dot a sleek new cut that made her look very foxy. Dot was so happy and appeared to have GAINED self-esteem.
"I no longer want to lose weight for anyone else but me," she boldly announced one day over a steamed bowl of lean soup bones & roasted rosemary white chicken breast. She shook a bit of lemon pepper seasoning onto her tasty looking bones and continued, "I want to lose weight for me! I deserve this! I will do this for ME!"
Tortoise smiled from reptilian cheek to reptilian cheek.
Dot appeared to have GAINED one of the keys to losing weight!
All the while, Hare sat and watched and mocked them both. "You will never succeed," Hare would shout as he chomped on his dull old carrots.
Finally, a month had passed. It was time for Dot to weigh.
She jumped up on the scales and my oh my - Dot had lost exactly 6 unwanted pounds!
Dot went on to meet a handsome Fireman. He and Dot soon married and lived happily ever after. Dot eventually delivered 101 little darlings.
Hare immediately purchased a chunk of stock in a new popular product and after making a small fortune, he squandered it all on a stock purchase involving Quick Weight Loss Supplements to which he continues to peddle to innocent souls on the Internet.
To this day, he denies that Dot's weight loss was due to a proper diet.
Tortoise went on to become a beloved character in a diet fantasy fable that made its way from Diet Bites onto big screen TV.
"LIFE STINKS!!!! And I miss Dotty!"
"EVERYONE is a LOSER - which is NOT a bad thing at all! It's a very GOOD thing! You only need to believe in yourself and weight loss will come!"
In life, we've been tutored from childhood that life is always about winning.
But as we can see, it's also about losing at times. Such is the case where body weight is involved.
But take heed, because we can become too engrossed in losing excess pounds that we may end up losing too many pounds.
This is why recommended healthy weight charts contain a range of numbers, typically based on body frame size and height. What 99.99% of these data charts leave out include:
1. Allowance for individuals with larger naturally-born areas on their body such as naturally-larger buttocks and breasts. These areas can weigh heavily - so the recommended healthy weight must be adjusted to accommodate for these pounds or the individual is likely to end up weighing on the too-skinny side of life. Being too thin is just as unhealthy as being too fat.
2. Our age in life has a big impact on healthy body weight. A younger individual naturally has more muscle mass than a senior. In addition, a senior may need a few extra pounds for added protection should they fall ill.
Our weight loss success story shows that most of us expect to lose all of the weight that we gained over the course of a few weeks, months or years in a matter of days.
Sometimes, we expect to lose all the excess in a matter of hours. Oh-we-humans.
Therefore, expect to remain patient and motivated for one week in order to lose about 2 pounds.
If you have 20 pounds to lose - it will require about 10 weeks - or two and a half months. If you have over 100 pounds to lose - like I did some twenty years ago, it will require about a year of dedicated effort.
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