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Fred Learns About the Food Pyramid - Want
quick yet healthy weight loss like Fred?
Then this article was written just
for you! click
to continue
Diet Trouble-Shooting Guide - Diet
Bites unveils the first-ever trouble shooting guide
for dieters. click
to continue
Diet - What is a diet? click
to continue
On a Diet - When the dieter pursues a diet, they may
immediately think, "I'm on a diet. I am restricted on what I can eat, so I can't
have this.... And I can't have that. And, oh dear, I wish this diet were already
over!" click
to continue
Obese to Oh Bliss - Climbing
up the weight ladder and back down again. click
to continue
I'm in the Mood for Dieting -
If you can't seem to get in the mood
for dieting, we'll do our best to get you there. Dieting can be a pleasant
experience, and a life-altering one at that! click
to continue
The Maverick Dieter - With a gazillion diets around, do
you still find it hard to find a diet that's perfect for you? Then perhaps it's
time to become a Maverick Dieter... click
to continue
Weight Loss & Dieting via
the Fruit of the Earth - Due to the American culture being flavored more and more with new immigrants, we
are seeing a change in not only the way that America looks, but also in the way
America cooks. click
to continue
The
End of Your Diet Plan
Fishing
for Weight Loss
How
Big is Your Teaspoon?
Calories
in Starbucks Cookies
The
Benefits of Olive Oil
Low
Cholesterol Diet
Low
Calorie Cookie
How
To Lower Bad Cholesterol
House
of Carbs Directory
Just
the Fats, Mam
- Lard, oh
lard, fat has a "weigh" of tipping those bath
scales to TILT. click
to continue
Summer
Weight Gain - Why it Happens
- So, when
summer arrived did most of those individuals lose that
unwanted weight? click
to continue
Weight
Loss Solutions
- Grill
like a healthy tiger rather than a Diet Kitten out
of control. Keep in mind that YOU control
what goes on your grill. click
to continue
Weight
Loss With the Velform Sauna Belt
- Our review of this not-so-hot belt. click
to continue
Review
- Bodyblade®
- Our review. click
to continue
Happy
Holidays, Unhappy Weight Gain
- Thanksgiving:
Thank
you, God, for the food we're about to glut - Anyone
on a diet right now is a nut. click
to continue
Mama's
Shaking in the Kitchen - Being Diet Bad
- Oh Mama
- it appears that Mama Jones has done gone and erupted
Diet Havoc in the kitchen! click
to continue
Weight
Loss LuLu, the Taste-Tester
- Lu
Lu's weight scales indicated a non-existent weight loss.
What was Lu Lu doing wrong? click
to continue
Weight
Gain - State of the Union, Oregon Flatlines as Alabama
Climbs
- According
to Trust
for America's Health,
an advocacy group focusing on weighty state issues,
all states in the USA increased in weight except Oregon.
click
to continue
Flavonols - Chocolate Lovers Delight for Combating Vascular Disease
- Further research on dark chocolate points to big health benefits, particularly
in warding off vascular disease. click
to continue
The
Fast & Furious Diet
- Dieter Jenna is furious with old diet plan and is
determined to set things straight. Will she succeed?
Oh mommy! click
to continue
The
Day the Diet Rains Came Up & Flooded the Valley
of Thin
- An increase in weight isn't the only increase when
it comes to obesity. Grab those tissues - this
one's going to be a Diet Tear-Jerker. click
to continue
Dessert
Island
- Is not getting a handle on those dessert calories
getting a love handle on you? Then this article's
for you. click
to continue
Fiber,
the Fabric of Your Life - Fitness & Fiber - what a healthy combination! What is fiber? Why is it necessary to health and fitness? What foods are rich in fiber? The answers to all the questions and more! Click
here to continue
Farah's
Weight Loss Success Story - How She Dropped 50 Unwanted
Pounds Click
here to continue
Good
Diet Choices - Diet Decisions
- Making Diet Choices That Positively Impact Your Weight Loss Program - Diet. It's the scariest
four-letter word that I know. That's the problem with 'Diets'. They
are all so scary - no fun, no fun at all.
And that's one reason they so
often fail. If you're serious about losing weight, then you must make
it fun! And hoppy! Click
here to continue
Body
Frame Size - Quick method for determining your body's
frame size. Click
here to continue
Diet
Humor.
All humor comes at the expense of another person's
discomfort.
But if we can't laugh at ourselves, how can we appreciate
the spirit of humor? On that note, Tickle Feather is proud to present
outrageous Diet Humor.
Click
here to continue
The
Beginning of Your Diet Plan
The
Middle of Your Diet Plan
The
End of Your Diet Plan
Fishing
for Weight Loss
Why
Can't I Resist Overeating?
Appetite
or Hunger?
The
Right Diet, The Right Snacks
Dieting?
I Get a Crush Out of You
Diet
or Diet PLAN?
Example
of a Diet Backup Plan
Top
My Diet With a Cherry!
How
Long Will It Take Me To Lose All This
Unwanted Weight?
How
Unhealthy is it to be Overweight?
Fat
Distribution on Men
Fat
Distribution on Women
Fat
on the Thighs & Hips
Fat
on the Back
Fat
on the Abdomen
Upper
Arm Fat
Obese
& Still Gaining Weight
Chin
Fat
Work
Out for Wobbly Arms
Work
Out Wobbly Thighs
The
Beginning of Your Diet Plan
The
Middle of Your Diet Plan
The
End of Your Diet Plan
Fishing
for Weight Loss
Why
Can't I Resist Overeating?
Appetite
or Hunger?
The
Right Diet, The Right Snacks
Dieting?
I Get a Crush Out of You
Diet
or Diet PLAN?
Example
of a Diet Backup Plan
Top
My Diet With a Cherry!
How
Long Will It Take Me To Lose All This
Unwanted Weight?
How
Unhealthy is it to be Overweight?
Fat
Distribution on Men
Fat
Distribution on Women
Fat
on the Thighs & Hips
Fat
on the Back
Fat
on the Abdomen
Upper
Arm Fat
Obese
& Still Gaining Weight
SITE
DISCLAIMER
|
How To Effectively
Plan For Frenzied Diet Moments
Something
To Howl About
Diet
Stage of Pre-Frenzy
|
Diet Stage of
Total Frenzy 
|
Dear
Diet Bites Reader:
You
are cordially invited to enjoy the story of Harry, the word-painted portrait
of a frenzied dieting soul. Yes, for your sole reading pleasure, we have
detailed a frenzied blow-by-blow account of a day in the life of Harry's diet.
BYOB
(Bring Your Own Beast)
No
need to R.S.V.P
- Date: Saturday,
a rather hot and humid May day
- Time: 7:00
AM
- Where: Harry's
den
- Moderator:
Eaten just before Sunday at daybreak.
- Cover Charge:
Free at Diet Bites
And
so our sordid tale begins....
Time: 7:00 AM
Harry began
his fun diet a couple of weeks ago. The fun diet had helped him shed 5 unwanted
pounds from his bushy frame. We find Harry in his den, watching the Saturday
morning cartoons (what little is left of them). He has just enjoyed a
nice breakfast of oatmeal with cinnamon & raisins. My, he's sure feeling
full right now with those 250 healthy calories packed beneath his hide...
Time: 8:55
AM
Harry is still
feeling stuffed from breakfast so he decides to forego a mid-morning snack while
he enjoys the morning paper. Generally during the week, Harry will enjoy
a mid-morning and a mid-afternoon snack. But the weekend has thrown
him a bit off his routine. Oh! Harry has just discovered the daily
crossword puzzle.
Time: 10:47
AM
Harry heads
off to play on the computer. He decides to visit one of the chatrooms.
And is he in luck! The room is filled with witty, funny, chatty
people. Harry finds that he has never laughed this hard in his life. He
also finds that he is biting his nails and realizes that he's getting a tab
hungry. Hum. He decides to wait until Monica leaves the chat. She
sounds cute and sexy and would probably make a fun neighbor or lover, or maybe
both, he decides...
Time: 1:30
PM
Harry is hit
by Mother Nature so he must get up to take care of business. Lucky for
him that Monica needed to take a small break as well. It seems as if the
two of them are really clicking online. He glances at the kitchen clock
on his way to the bathroom. Oh my word! 1:30 PM??? How did
that happen? Hum... Monica's how that happened, he silently mocks
to himself.
Time: 1:35
PM
Harry returns
to the computer, but pauses to grab a diet soda from the fridge while hoping
that Monica isn't re-mounted in front of her computer. Someone named Bodacious
Millionaire had entered the chat a few minutes ago, and seemed to be 'trying'
to sweep Monica off her Chat Feet. Harry had a bad feeling about BM.
This tasty
diet soda should ward
off the hungries, he thinks. He can't wait to get back into the funny
chat room with Monica. My, this is fun!
Harry suddenly feels giddy
and attributes it to being smitten with Monica. If Harry's head wasn't
filled with jingle bells, he'd realize that his giddy feeling is due to lack
of nourishment. You can't live on electronic love alone...
Time: 3:45
PM
The chatroom
is clearing out, but most importantly, Monica just left. She was heading
off to do dinner with her best friend, then it's off Mall Hopping. Turned
out that BM wasn't a threat at all.
Harry
feels a bit weak and pooped, probably from all that typing. His eyes wander
to the time listed in the bottom right hand corner of his computer. Almost
4:00 PM???? How did that happen? His tummy answers with a large
growl. Harry decides that it's time to eat. He'll enjoy a couple
of slices of the expensive but healthy pizza topped with lowfat cheese that he bought at the market on Wednesday, and
perhaps a big salad with light dressing on the side.
Time: 3:50
PM
Harry jerks
out the pizza and tosses it onto the counter, then throws lettuce, tomatoes
and carrots on top of the cardboard box. What a meal he'll have! Perhaps
he should enjoy 3 slices of the pizza? He's feeling very weak and shaky.
Perhaps 4 pieces wouldn't hurt. After all, it's a healthy pizza
with only 200 calories per slice.
He is momentarily
detained by the knock at the front door. It's Ms. Snodgrass, his neighbor -
the cat nut. Her pussy is all that she talks about - 'Fluffy this
and Fluffy that'. Then last week, she had to go and purchase a second
pussy; a gray one. Harry listens as she explains that her Fluffy pussy is stuck
in his crabapple tree.
 
Time: 5:30
PM
Idiot Fluffy's
claw marks were etched all inside of Harry's prize crabapple tree. Some
were also etched on his face as he'd braved up the tree to rescue the cat, a
cat that really didn't want to be rescued at all. Fluffy was a tease and
Harry thought that she'd been content just to sit up in the tree meowing. At
least Ms. Snodgrass was happy now. Harry's tummy growled again. He was
starting to feel headachey and knew it was from lack of food. Either that,
or it was all Fluffy's fault.
Time 6:30
PM
Showered,
but unshaven, Harry emerged from the bathroom and headed for the kitchen. He
needed to put something in his tummy - but fast! Harry gave a tiny thought
to the diet he'd been on for the last 2 weeks. He'd been so good!
He knew that it had been unwise to skip lunch for the chatroom, but time
seemed to have raced by because he had been experiencing such fun with hot Monica!
But now, he was beginning to feel like he was chained to a wall - unable
to reach food fast enough.
Harry was in a state
of Diet Pre-Frenzy.
Time 6:35
PM
Harry rushes
to the kitchen only to discover that his healthy pizza has turned into wet cardboard.
His lettuce has also browned on the ends. He jerks open the
fridge only to find it bare. How did this happen???? He forgot that
he had planned to visit the market again this morning to stock up on healthy
food items.
My, it was
difficult pre-planning while dieting because he opted for fresh items like green
beans, lettuce, tomatoes, and assorted fruits. Mushrooms would curl up
and die in a flash but suddenly, Harry felt like if he didn't soon find nourishment,
he'd curl up and die.
 
He felt slobber
run out the side of his open mouth as the doorbell sounded again. If Ms.
Snodgrass had returned to have another discussion about her pussy cat-o's, Harry knew
he was going to be hard-pressed not to choke her.
Time: 6:36
PM
Against his
better judgment, he headed towards the front door. He decided to keep
his cool and retain his neighborly relationship with Ms. Snodgrass. She
had a mouth on her and it wouldn't be good to get on her bad side.
To Harry's
dismay, Ms. Snodgrass didn't meet him at the front door. Instead, two
friendly looking guys from a local church stood there instead looking crisp
and fresh in their white shirts and black ties. Their bikes were parked
on his sidewalk.
Not wanting
to appear rude, he ushered them inside.
They were
nice, but they wouldn't shut up. Harry couldn't get a word in edgewise.
Time: 9:38
PM
The visitors
from the church gave Harry something to thank God for - that they had finally
left so he could eat. He had a plan in mind. The Bell was the closest
source of food. It was fastfood, but there were still a few healthy choices
on the menu.
But at this
point, did Harry really care?
And where
are my $##@! car keys????
Thank goodness
the visitors had just wheeled away on their bikes through the night, Harry thought.
Time: 11:30
PM
Harry finally
locates his keys. Thank goodness that The Bell was open until 2 AM tonight.
Time: 11:40
PM
Harry's Geo
is bouncing all over the road. Surely he didn't run over a varmint? 
That
would be sad. Harry realizes that he has a flat tire.
Time: 12:30
AM
Harry finally
pulls into the parking lot at The Bell. Famished, he practically trots
to the restaurant doors only to find that they have just locked the doors. Harry
yells frantically through the glass doors at the young man wearing the funny
looking hat. The young man grabs a board, writes something down and holds
it up for Harry to read. "Out of tortillas and cheese. Closing
early tonight. Sorry."
*(@%^&#(*&(!*)
AND @#*&*&(*&$#&(&@(!&, Harry yells
up to the dark sky.
The young
man taps on the glass and Harry reads: "May I suggest The Hut? Right
down the street."
Harry smiles
and gives a big thumbs up to the young man.
Time: 12:45
AM
Oh goody -
it looks like The Hut is open! Joy!!
Harry sails
right up to the drive-thru window. He knows exactly what he is going to
order.
"1 stuffed
crust super supreme, 2 orders of breadsticks and a large REAL soda!!!"
By gosh, Harry
had planned to have pizza today, and he was going to have it!! Right now,
he didn't care if it was healthy, or not!
And what a deal!
Harry got about 10,000 calories for about $15.00.
Time: 1:15
AM
Harry wolfed
down his food. He took the route home that flowed by the Riverwalk and
stopped in at Jack's Box to order an Oreo shake - just the regular size for
a mere 740 calories.
Time: 1:45
AM
Once home, he went straight to bed
on an extremely full tummy.
We are sad
to say that the following morning, Harry returned to his wicked diet ways.
The
moral of our story is:
Plan ahead when dieting
and stick as close to the times that you plan to eat, as possible. Or
you just may slip off into a howling state of frenzy...
Return
to
Diet Bites
Copyrighted
by Diet Bites
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RSS
Article Updates
Just
the Fats, Mam
- Lard, oh
lard, fat has a "weigh" of tipping those bath
scales to TILT. click
to continue
The
Diet Wood Shed
- Helen had been so Diet Naughty that she found herself
suddenly trapped behind the Diet Wood Shed! Is
it too late for Diet Redemption or has Helen sealed
her Diet Fate? click
to continue
Summer
Weight Gain - Why it Happens
- So, when
summer arrived did most of those individuals lose that
unwanted weight? click
to continue
Weight
Loss Solutions
- Grill
like a healthy tiger rather than a Diet Kitten out
of control. Keep in mind that YOU control
what goes on your grill. click
to continue
Weight
Loss With the Velform Sauna Belt
- Our review of this not-so-hot belt. click
to continue
Review
- Bodyblade®
- Our review. click
to continue
Happy
Holidays, Unhappy Weight Gain
- Thanksgiving:
Thank
you, God, for the food we're about to glut - Anyone
on a diet right now is a nut. click
to continue
Mama's
Shaking in the Kitchen - Being Diet Bad
- Oh Mama
- it appears that Mama Jones has done gone and erupted
Diet Havoc in the kitchen! click
to continue
Weight
Loss LuLu, the Taste-Tester
- Lu
Lu's weight scales indicated a non-existent weight loss.
What was Lu Lu doing wrong? click
to continue
Weight
Gain - State of the Union, Oregon Flatlines as Alabama
Climbs
- According
to Trust
for America's Health,
an advocacy group focusing on weighty state issues,
all states in the USA increased in weight except Oregon.
click
to continue
Flavonols - Chocolate Lovers Delight for Combating Vascular Disease
- Further research on dark chocolate points to big health benefits, particularly
in warding off vascular disease. click
to continue
The
Fast & Furious Diet
- Dieter Jenna is furious with old diet plan and is
determined to set things straight. Will she succeed?
Oh mommy! click
to continue
The
Day the Diet Rains Came Up & Flooded the Valley
of Thin
- An increase in weight isn't the only increase when
it comes to obesity. Grab those tissues - this
one's going to be a Diet Tear-Jerker. click
to continue
Dessert
Island
- Is not getting a handle on those dessert calories
getting a love handle on you? Then this article's
for you. click
to continue
Fiber,
the Fabric of Your Life - Fitness & Fiber - what a healthy combination! What is fiber? Why is it necessary to health and fitness? What foods are rich in fiber? The answers to all the questions and more! Click
here to continue
Farah's
Weight Loss Success Story - How She Dropped 50 Unwanted
Pounds Click
here to continue
Good
Diet Choices - Diet Decisions
- Making Diet Choices That Positively Impact Your Weight Loss Program - Diet. It's the scariest
four-letter word that I know. That's the problem with 'Diets'. They
are all so scary - no fun, no fun at all.
And that's one reason they so
often fail. If you're serious about losing weight, then you must make
it fun! And hoppy! Click
here to continue
Body
Frame Size - Quick method for determining your body's
frame size. Click
here to continue
Diet
Humor.
All humor comes at the expense of another person's
discomfort.
But if we can't laugh at ourselves, how can we appreciate
the spirit of humor? On that note, Tickle Feather is proud to present
outrageous Diet Humor.
Click
here to continue
Chin
Fat
Work
Out for Wobbly Arms
Work
Out Wobbly Thighs
101
Free Slimming Shake Recipes
|
