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Who Killed the Living Girdle?
Stretching the Diet Truth
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Jane Russell - what a woman! Beautiful, famous celebrity, and girdle owner.
Of course, that was totally fine back in the good old days when women enjoyed being girdled. Which brings us to that throbbing question... Just who killed the living girdle?
In the good old days, if you had a poofy tummy, the problem could be instantly solved. A simple drive to the nearest retailer was all it took; that and a very tiny wad of money to purchase that new amazing treasure, that new girdle.
They were lovely, too. And they were so small - all sizes, from an extra small on up.
They were also available in three stunning colors: black (for evening wear), white (for special occasions), and beige (generally worn to the office by file clerks who usually stood on their feet all day).
Due to the stretchability of the girdle, it was amazing how much one could fit into such a tiny garment. The transformation was simply astounding!
That poofy tummy was instantly transformed into a flat, solid sheet. Why you could cook flapjacks on it for breakfast, or bounce quarters into the sky, or use it as a platform to send off the space shuttle.
Other than creating a very flattering look on a woman, the girdle served other very useful purposes. A lady could burn off two pounds just by getting into her girdle. So it was a very useful exercise tool.
Even when a girdle wore out its personal usefulness, it generally went on to become a household fixture.
By simply tying the legs together, one had an instant potato bin. A name brand girdle could hold up to 25 pounds of potatoes.
Even a not-so-good girdle could hold a good ten pounds, although at times, the potatoes would sprout and snake out of the girdle. These type girdles were well-liked by garden enthusiasts.
Everyone had a girdle in the good old days; movie stars, housewives, popular singing groups, and even construction workers who found that they made boss tool belts in a pinch, or nifty slingshots they could use when passing lumber and nails up to their high-rise co-workers. Ah, those were the good old days.
So if these wonderful stretching gadgets were so loved, then who killed the living girdle? Was it:
Blue Jeans - (Who some say was the girdle of the 90's.)
Moo Moos (very roomy and so comfortable)
Spandex (For those who never owned a poofy tummy.)
Polyester (The Eternal Garment; never wears out.)
Skorts/Koolots (Blown-out combo of skirt + pants.)
Triple Cheeseburger, jumbo fries & triple chocolate shake please. (Yes, this may be it.)
All You Can Eat Buffets (Very likely.)
Gourmet donut shoppes and bakeries. (Let's don't even go here.)
So the mystery remains. Though the girdle no longer lives, it can be faintly recognized in quaint little shoppes every now and then, disguised with such product claims as 'control briefs' or 'firm control top' or 'body firmer'.
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Yes, gone are the days of the living girdle, the undergarment that induced so much pain, but produced so much delight in creating that sleek, sought-after look. But although thin has always been in - the overweight and obesity stats continue to rise not only in the United States but also around the world - signaling that body slimmers are here to stay.
