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Bland Diet Tips

Written by Diet Bites

One Bonanza of a Diet, Unlocking a Deadlocked Diet

If you're stuck in neutral on your diet, you might be locked inside the Ponderosa, in one Bonanza of Diet Dilemma! If so, we'll show you how to unlock the door in this rootin' tootin' article...

Our heroes...Adam, Hoss, Little Joe and yes, Pa. Every week you could depend on a few things:

1.  No matter what pending danger our guys faced, they would overcome.

2. No matter how many cliffs, or how many ditches their horses fell into during the show, they would be back next week, same day, same time, same channel.

3. No matter how riddled, or how dirty, or how torn their outfits got during the show, they would be back next week in that same outfit, dressed to kill. Let's take a peek at those snazzy outfits:

Adam: He was the original 'Man in Black'. He just didn't have the neat space aliens that Tommy Lee and Will had the benefit of meeting.

Hoss: Ten gallon hat, cowhide vest and big boots. For cowboys, it just doesn't get any better than this. He was one mean teddy bear.

Little Joe: Fitted classic cowboy garb that was often spruced up with a ridiculous ribbon or a bow, especially when a square dance drove into town.

Pa: No cheap sod-buster outfit on 'da man'. This was one studly man's man about the town. Leathered skin, leathered body, leathered suit. No wonder he squeaked when he walked.

To sum up our fashion statements, we'll do so in one word: BORING!  

Yes, the 'boys' were dependable, but undeniably boring. Wouldn't it have been cool to tune in one evening to see Pa decked out in a red leisure suit?  Perhaps Hop Sing supporting a yellow sport's jacket and sunshades? I can see Hoss in a jogging suit and ball cap, can't you?

Actually, I really can't see it. Would have been a ridiculous idea, probably contributing to Bonanza being cancelled.

However, the word BORING has a totally opposite effect on the daily diet.  

If we get locked into a routine of eating the same bland menu day in, and day out - boredom settles in and a red light may flash ahead in The Old Diet Trail.  We find ourselves locked into one big bonanza of bland.

Bland Soup & Salad

For example, soup and salad tend to be two very popular items in the dieter's menu.  If you're stuck on tomato soup, dare to be daring and shock your tummy with some chicken noodle soup.

Or add a little lead roasted chicken to your bed of uninteresting greens.  

Toss in a few sliced radishes and mushrooms while you're at it. Or pickles.  

By the way, there's a great new sweet 'bread and butter' pickle on the market that's made with Splenda and is quite delicious with zero calories. Take care with the jar if you are watching the old sodium, because once you start eating these jerkins, it's very hard to stop.

Keeping Your Eating Plan Interesting Over Bland

By mixing up your menu, you'll keep your diet interesting and fun - and that's what it's all about!  A bland and boring diet isn't like a hyped-up western that's always guaranteed to return as scheduled. A boring diet is a sure-fire way to sabotage your once-wonderful diet.  

Make it exciting!  Most importantly, keep it...

"Rolling, Rolling, Rolling....Keep that diet going,
Though your hunger's swollen, inside!
Through pain, and wind and I'd rather, Eat that donut and smatter,
Some butter on my spuds and on my buns...
Get 'em in, move 'em out, head 'em in, run 'em out - SUR - ER - ER - VIVE! YEAH!"

"That song was udderly bovine."

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