On those occasions where I experienced weight loss success and reached my goal weight, I would let loose by celebrating my success. Many times, I celebrated a few cupcakes too many.
And when the weight began to edge back on, I would think once more, "I'm not going to worry about gaining a few pounds right now. After all, I lost all my unwanted weight before and I know I can do it again." Then I'd drop my yo-yo and keep on skipping merrily along. Until that five-pound weight gain turned into a forty-pounder.
After going through an ‘I hate my body phase' then I'd go through an ‘I'm going to torture my body by dieting and teach it to NEVER gain weight again' phase. My diet on many days wasn't enough to keep a gnat alive.
At one point I enrolled in college and took nutrition courses, learning the ins and outs of proper nutrition. But when it came to putting those practices into use in the real world, they didn't work. Why? Because they were developed by individuals who were not victims of obesity.
When my excess weight exploded beyond two-hundred pounds, my attempts at weight loss came few and far between. Diets that used to last for a few weeks were suddenly lasting for a few days, then a couple of days, then a handful of hours. I'd start my diet when I woke up and by noon I was foraging in the Happy Goody Garden.
Needless to say, at one point I simply didn't believe in myself. I gave up. It was impossible – ever being thin again.
And it was embarrassing – embarrassing at work, embarrassing to my children, embarrassing whenever I saw people that I hadn't seen in years. I just wanted to hang my head and cry – like an obese ostrich, too tired to dig a hole big enough so that I could stick my head inside.
But I didn't. No, instead I made jokes about my weight. After all, when everyone laughed they were laughing with me – not at me, right?
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"The strongest Diet Foundation known to modern day man is the official food pyramid." ~ Sky Taylor
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